Here and loved but gone too soon
This is a difficult post for me to write but I haven't been keeping up with my blog and wanted to let my readers know why. The past few weeks have been the most difficult of my life. I had a miscarriage. Its only been one week since my D & C and just over a week since we found out our baby no longer had a heartbeat. I'm not ready now to get into details and share too much but over the next few weeks/months I want to. I know there are readers out there that have experienced a miscarriage or maybe are going through it now.
I want to share the things I am doing over the next few weeks to naturally balance out my hormones and get my periods back on track. I feel like infertility is often a topic swept under the rug, and I definitely feel like a miscarriage can be the same. Thats why I want to be honest and open about it and not hold things in.
Here are a few things I'm doing now to help with balancing my hormones. Please remember I am a dietitian NOT a doctor! These are just things I have found helpful through my own research and knowledge of PCOS. Talk to your doctor before starting any supplements, diet, or activity.
- Eating a healthy, nourishing diet. Right after finding out about the miscarriage, I wanted to just say "Screw it! I give up." But I realized that eating unhealthy would not bring our baby back and would certainly make me feel even worse physically. Before every meal, I ask myself "What will most nourish my body?" I have been focusing on grass fed beef, green leafy veggies, moderate amounts of fruit, eggs, avocados, and lots of fat especially from coconut oil/milk.
- Sticking to gluten/dairy free and processed free (especially avoiding vegetable oils). I truly believe this way of eating was a big part of getting pregnant.
- Drinking lots of water and no caffeine or alcohol.
- Lots of supplements: prenatal multivitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, myo-inositol (2 scoops/day), and probiotic.
- Exercise. I took off about a week after the surgery to give my body time to rest and heal. I've eased back into yoga, pilates and walking. Believe me exercise is the last thing I feel like doing but after walking in the fresh air or doing a relaxing yoga session, it does wonders for my mind and body.
- Getting enough sleep. This one has been pretty challenging because its hard to sleep with my mind racing. But I've found that talking before bed, listening to peaceful music, or doing yoga can help calm my mind.
- Therapy. I'm seeing the counselor I've been seeing for the past year or so for infertility. But now I'm going about once a week. There is nothing shameful in seeking professional help!
- Acupuncture- going for my first visit at the end of the week. I'm hoping it will help balance out my hormones and get me back on track. Its certainly worth a try! If interested in more info check out these two articles: Part 1 and Part 2 from PCOS Diet Support.
- Lunaception. I had been doing this for most of 2013 and feel that maybe it helped. Since I'm in hormone limbo right now and have no idea when to let light in or what day of my cycle I'm on, I'm going to coordinate with the moon schedule. During the next full moon, I will open the curtains and let light in for 3 days then sleep in complete darkness again. Hopefully it will help get me back on track. Natural Fertility and Wellness explains it better!
- Crying and lots of it. I'm also taking it easy and knowing my limits-physically and emotionally. I'm not holding in emotions and sometimes the most healing part of my day is talking to Patrick when he gets home from work and sharing how I feel.
- Counting my blessings and being mindful. Right now I'm focusing on our 18 month old son. How God brought him into our life shows us firsthand how God does see the big picture and knows exactly what He has planned.
- Naming our baby and finding ways to remember. Even though we weren't sure of the sex yet, Patrick and I had a strong feeling it was a girl. We picked a name and I created a box filled with my positive pregnancy test, ultrasound pictures, pictures of me and my growing belly each week and a list of all my food aversions and morning sickness episodes that I honestly enjoyed so much. One day I will create a scrapbook when I'm ready sometime down the road.
- Reading- finally I'm reading a few books on miscarriage and I've come across a few blogs with excellent advice. Humbled Homemaker, Moments a day, & Lindsey Bell.
After trying to conceive for 64 months and then experiencing this loss, its so easy to want to give up. But I refuse. We have come so far in this journey and I have really been able to get a hold of my health. Right now my mind is still a fog but I want to continue to post about relevant topics and share any information I can that may help you on your fight against PCOS. And I will definitely update on how my progress is going with healing.
"when you carry a life and it's there and then gone, a part of your soul dies forever". - Casey Wiegand
"i carried you every second of your life and i will love you every second of my life." - Zoe Clark-Coates